Unsung Heroines

Readings for today: Exodus 1-4

Father, so often it is the simple acts of faith that require the most courage. It is stuff of day to day living that makes the most impact. It is the ordinary decisions that bear the most extraordinary results. Help me to see every moment, every minute, every conversation, every person as pregnant with divine potential. 

The Exodus story is one of the most powerful in human history. It is the great national narrative of the Jewish people. It brought hope to millions of African-Americans living under slavery and later, segregation in the Deep South. It inspired some of our greatest music, creating a whole new genre called “negro spirituals” that we continue to sing to this day. Artists, authors, and movie producers have all found it compelling. And it continues to galvanize those who suffer in captivity and bondage around the world.  

It’s easy as we dive in to focus on Moses. His miraculous deliverance at birth. His attempt to deliver his people by murdering an Egyptian. His flight from Egypt. His encounter with God at the burning bush. And then his return back to his people as he takes up the mantle of leadership. Often overlooked is the courageous faith of the ordinary women who make all this possible.   

First, the midwives. Shiphrah and Puah are two of the most underrated heroes in the Bible. Their faithfulness to God placed them in incredible danger and yet they refused to obey Pharaoh’s command. “But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but let the male children live.” (Ex. 1:17) Their actions saved who knows how many children in Israel and God honored their faithfulness. “So God dealt well with the midwives. And the people multiplied and grew very strong. And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families.” (Exodus 1:20-21) As an aside, I’ve heard many Christians question how God could honor their deceit since they lied to Pharaoh. This clearly betrays a lack of understanding of what it takes to survive in such a situation. Most who question have never experienced the brutalities of slavery, bondage, and oppression. They are unfamiliar with work-gangs, hard labor, and cruel task-masters who whip and abuse. The more we seek to understand the harsh circumstances they lived in every day, the more we can appreciate their bravery. 

Second, the older sister. When Moses was born, his mother hid him for three months. But eventually the time came where she had to let him go. She placed him in a little basket-boat on the Nile, probably with the hope that somehow, someway his life would be preserved. His older sister followed the boat as it floated down the river. When she saw Pharaoh’s daughter discover the basket, she immediately ran up to offer to help. Again, this is an incredible act of courage. For all she knew Pharaoh’s daughter would drown her little brother right then and there and perhaps that is exactly what would have happened except for her swift actions. “Then his sister said to Pharaoh's daughter, "Shall I go and call you a nurse from the Hebrew women to nurse the child for you?" And Pharaoh's daughter said to her, "Go." So the girl went and called the child's mother. And Pharaoh's daughter said to her, "Take this child away and nurse him for me, and I will give you your wages." So the woman took the child and nursed him. When the child grew older, she brought him to Pharaoh's daughter, and he became her son. She named him Moses, "Because," she said, "I drew him out of the water." (Exodus 2:7-10) Not only does she save Moses but she is able to reunite him with his mother while he is being nursed! It’s an incredible act of faith for such a young girl! 

Third, Pharaoh’s daughter. I’ve always wondered why she rescued Moses from the river? What motivated her to lift him out of the little basket and adopt him as her own? Did she see the same thing in Moses that his mother saw? “The woman conceived and bore a son, and when she saw that he was a fine child...” (Exodus 2:2) Or did she just take pity on a helpless baby? No matter her motivations, she too was acting courageously. Defying her father’s orders to save this Hebrew child. Though she did not know God, she still was used by God to play a specific role in His salvation plan for His people. 

It’s amazing to think about, isn’t it? The string of events that led to Moses appearing before God at the burning bush? It makes me think about my own life. What simple, yet courageous acts of faith am I being called to engage in that will further the Kingdom of God in this world?

Readings for tomorrow: None

Limits

Job 40:6-42:17, Psalm 29

Father, like yesterday, I want to learn to accept my place. Embrace my role. Understand my limits. In my pride, I tell myself I can do anything. But the reality is I am weak. I am finite. I am limited in so many ways. My limits too often lead to disappointment. But Father, you set these limits so that I might seek You. You create these limits that I might learn to depend on You. It is only through weakness that I discover the sufficiency of Your grace.

 One of the versions of the Bible that I love to read, especially when it comes to poetry, is the Message. The translator, Eugene Peterson, has this way of making the text come alive for me.  Listen to how He translates some of these final verses of Job…

“Look at the land beast, Behemoth. I created him as well as you. Grazing on grass, docile as a cow— Just look at the strength of his back, the powerful muscles of his belly. His tail sways like a cedar in the wind; his huge legs are like beech trees. His skeleton is made of steel, every bone in his body hard as steel. Most magnificent of all my creatures, but I still lead him around like a lamb! The grass-covered hills serve him meals, while field mice frolic in his shadow...And when the river rages he doesn’t budge, stolid and unperturbed even when the Jordan goes wild. But you’d never want him for a pet— you’d never be able to housebreak him!” (Job 40:15-24)

“Or can you pull in the sea beast, Leviathan, with a fly rod and stuff him in your creel? Can you lasso him with a rope, or snag him with an anchor? Will he beg you over and over for mercy, or flatter you with flowery speech? Will he apply for a job with you to run errands and serve you the rest of your life? Will you play with him as if he were a pet goldfish? Will you make him the mascot of the neighborhood children?...What hope would you have with such a creature? Why, one look at him would do you in! If you can’t hold your own against his glowering visage, how, then, do you expect to stand up to me? Who could confront me and get by with it? I’m in charge of all this—I run this universe!” (Job 41:1-11)

One of the reasons we read the Word of God is to be reminded of our place in this world. Reminded of how truly weak and finite and limited we are as human beings. You see, the reality is we too often act like we CAN tame Behemoth! We foolishly believe we can hook the Leviathan! We believe deep in our bones that nothing’s impossible for us as long as we set our best minds and best resources and best efforts towards a single goal. Remember what we read in Genesis 11 about the Tower of Babel? “And the Lord said, "Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do. And nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them.” (Genesis 11:6 ESV) We fundamentally believe - in our pride and arrogance - that we can ascend to heaven. We don’t need God. We can tame the world. Whether on a global, local, or even individual scale. 

The Bible reminds us of our limits. It reminds of the boundaries of our existence. They are good. They are right. They are important. So many people read Job and are frustrated that he gets no straight answer from God. But in expecting or even demanding such an answer, we make the same mistake Job made. We put God in the wrong. We condemn Him so that we may be in the right. (Job 40:8) Would that we learn to respond to God like Job did at the end. Repenting in dust and ashes before the Lord. Only then can we expect the Lord to restore our fortunes, heal our land, revive our nation. 

Readings for tomorrow: Exodus 1-4

God Speaks

Readings for today: Job 37-40:1-5, Psalm 19

Father, help me to slow down. To quiet down. To rid myself of all distractions so that I might hear Your voice. You are speaking, am I listening? Am I ready to hear what You want me to hear? Ready to receive the message You have for me? Ready to obey the call You place on my life for today?

Many years ago, I worked at Boulder Community Hospital. I had just graduated from college. Just gotten married. Needed a job. So I applied to be a per diem Admissions clerk with the hope I could catch on full-time. After coming back from my honeymoon, several people had quit in the department and they offered me a position. A few weeks later, I got back from a friend’s wedding and the lead person in the department had quit so they asked me to take that position. A few months after that, my manager walked out the door and they asked me to take that position. It was quite the whirlwind! I was 23 years old and running a department of 12-15 employees without any management or healthcare experience. Over the next year, three more departments were added to my plate and I ended up with about 50 employees reporting to me and I was the youngest manager by a decade or more. Then my director left. As they searched for a new one, I was invited into meetings to represent the business side of the hospital and offer my perspective as the person running all the frontline services. I still remember the last meeting I attended. I was pretty proud of myself at this point and I naturally had an opinion about everything. So I was in a meeting where we are discussing the launch of our nationally renowned sports medicine clinic. The executive director who I believe held both an MD and an MBA was talking about revenue streams and development plans and the entire leadership of the hospital was present. The president and the five vice presidents. All the directors and several members of the board. I was by far the youngest and lowest on the totem poll. Again, the only reason I was there was because the director position above me was still vacant. Right in the middle of the presentation, I interrupted to make what I thought was an important point. I attempted to correct the executive director in front of everyone. All eyes turned to me and I’ll never forget his words, “Who the hell are you and why are you even here? If we want your opinion, we’ll ask. Otherwise keep your mouth shut and stop wasting our time.” I wanted to disappear. Unfortunately, the meeting lasted another hour and I had to just sit there in my embarrassment. Afterwards, my vice president came to me and let me know I wouldn’t be attending any more meetings. ;-)

It was the worst moment of my life and yet it was the best moment as well. I learned humility the hard way. I learned about role clarity within an organization and how to know your place in the pecking order. I had no business being in a meeting of that magnitude much less speaking up. I had no understanding of the big picture. I had no appreciation for all the different factors in play. I was ignorant and clueless. Just like Job. In chapter 38, God finally answers Job from the whirlwind. He questions him over and over again. “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” “Have you commanded the morning?” “Have you entered the springs of the sea?” “Do you know the ordinances of the heavens?” “Can you lift up your voice to the clouds?” Job answers the way any of us would. The way any of us should when we come face to face with the majesty and might of God. “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth. I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further.” (Job 40:4-5) 

What is the main message of Job? God is God and we are not. We are not like Him. We cannot understand Him. We cannot begin to grasp the height and depth and breadth of His ways. He is all-powerful, all-knowing, and ever-present. He sees things we cannot see. He knows things we cannot know. He hears things we cannot hear. To contend with God is utter folly for His ways are unsearchable. Who are we to question God? Who are we to call God to account? Who are we to demand anything from God? He keeps His own counsel. He does not need our advice. He does not ask our permission. Theologian Sally McFague once defined sin as “our refusal to accept our place.” It’s an unwillingness to embrace our role. It’s the prideful belief that we can be more or should be more or deserve more than what we have or what we have received. This was the original temptation, of course. Eat the fruit and you will be like God. You will know good and evil like Him. You will see what He sees. You will understand what He understands. 

We still fall for it, don’t we? I know I do. Despite the humbling experience at BCH all those years ago, I still find myself struggling to accept the role God’s defined for my life. I have this insatiable appetite for more. In my pride, I think I can achieve more. Accomplish more. Do more. All for God’s Kingdom, of course, but if I’m totally honest, it’s for me as well. So I’ve made a commitment in my life. I will walk with open hands before the Lord. Whatever He wants to place in my hands, I will accept. What He does not place in my hands, I will not seek. If He wants to raise me up, I will embrace the challenge. If He wants to lay me low, I will humbly accept His will. This is what it means for me to humble myself before the Lord. 

Readings for tomorrow: Job 40:6-42:17, Psalm 29

Redemptive Suffering

Readings for today: Job 33-36

Father, suffering is hard to endure and even harder to understand. It’s hard to me to wrap my head and heart around all the pain I see. Help me not so much to understand as much as to trust in Your promise that You will use all things for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purpose.

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 1:6-7)

“For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:10-11)

“For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9)

There is such a thing as redemptive suffering. Suffering with a purpose. We may not always see that purpose and, in fact, it is often only revealed upon reflection after the fact. But that doesn’t mean all suffering is meaningless or all suffering is bad or all suffering is to be avoided. Clearly, the first century believers suffered. 10 of the 12 Apostles would be tortured and executed in excruciating ways for their faith. (Judas committed suicide and John, though he suffered, died of old age.) Throughout the first three centuries of the church’s existence, Christians were burned as torches in Nero’s garden or thrown to the lions for sport in the arena. In certain regions of the Empire, they were systematically rounded up and killed. This was not only true back then but remains true in certain places around the world today. According to Christianity Today, it is estimated that over 70 million Christians have been martyred since the time of Jesus. They suffered and died in places all over the earth. Ottomon Turkey. Nazi Germany. Soviet Russia. Communist China and North Korea. Uganda. Sudan. Mexico. Columbia. And the suffering continues. I have seen it firsthand in Ethiopia and have spoken to eye witnesses in South Sudan, Djibouti, and Somalia. 

The introduction of Elihu to the narrative represents a turning point in Job. At first glance, Elihu seems to be piling on. Repeating the same tired arguments of Job’s friends. But a careful reading of the text reveals a significant shift. Elihu bursts on the scene declaring his anger at both Job and his three friends. He believes he has something new to offer that has not yet been said. So what is it that Elihu brings to the table? It is the idea that God allows and even uses the suffering of the righteous in order to purify and to save. 

“Behold, in this you are not right. I will answer you, for God is greater than man. Why do you contend against him, saying, 'He will answer none of man's words'? For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men, while they slumber on their beds, then he opens the ears of men and terrifies them with warnings...” (Job 33:12-15) Remember, they had no Bible. No written records. So the Word of God would come to them in visions and dreams. Why? To punish? To judge? To wound? To destroy? No, Elihu argues, it was so “that God may turn man aside from his deed and conceal pride from a man; he keeps back his soul from the pit, his life from perishing by the sword.” (Job 33:17-18) This is deeply significant as it adds a new layer of meaning to the story. God does allow suffering but it’s for our good. He uses suffering to purge pride from us. The pride Job himself suffers from. Yes, Job is a righteous man. Yes, Job is a blameless man. But Job is also a sinful man. Though he has a heart after God, he is not perfect and God will use his suffering (as we will see at the end of the book) to cleanse the depths of Job’s heart. 

God not only warns us in dreams and visions and through His Word, he also allows and uses our physical pain for our good and for His glory. “Man is also rebuked with pain on his bed and with continual strife in his bones, so that his life loathes bread, and his appetite the choicest food. His flesh is so wasted away that it cannot be seen, and his bones that were not seen stick out. His soul draws near the pit, and his life to those who bring death.” (Job 33:19-22) If we follow the logic of Job’s friends - whom Elihu rebukes strongly - we would conclude that those who suffer deserve it. They should go down to death. But that’s not where Elihu lands. His God is not a harsh judge but a faithful, loving Father who delivers His children ultimately from their pain and suffering. “If there be for him an angel, a mediator, one of the thousand, to declare to man what is right for him, and he is merciful to him, and says, 'Deliver him from going down into the pit; I have found a ransom; let his flesh become fresh with youth; let him return to the days of his youthful vigor'; then man prays to God, and he accepts him; he sees his face with a shout of joy, and he restores to man his righteousness. He sings before men and says: 'I sinned and perverted what was right, and it was not repaid to me. He has redeemed my soul from going down into the pit, and my life shall look upon the light. Behold, God does all these things, twice, three times, with a man, to bring back his soul from the pit, that he may be lighted with the light of life.” (Job 33:23-30) The key phrase being that last sentence. It is God who does all these things for man in order to bring his soul back from the pit, lighted with the light of life.

This understanding squares with what Christians have believed throughout the centuries. Martyrs facing death without fear. Those who suffer enduring for the sake of something greater. They understand God is at work even in the middle of their pain. Not only bringing about His will and His glory but also continuing to sanctify and purify even their own hearts in the midst of it all. The reality is Job needs to be humbled and indeed will be humbled before the Lord of Hosts. We all need to be humbled and indeed one day will be humbled before the King of kings and Lord of lords. This is one of the most important lessons from the Book of Job. 

Readings for tomorrow: Job 37-40:1-5, Psalm 19

The Danger of Self-Justification

Readings for today: Job 29-32

Father, probe the depths of my heart. Reveal to me where I seek to justify myself before you or stand on my own righteousness. Help me to see the helplessness of my spiritual condition not so that I will despair but so that I will all the more praise You for what You’ve done for me in Jesus Christ.

Charles Spurgeon once wrote, “If any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him, for you are worse than he thinks you to be.” I remember running across this quote when life was at its darkest and I was struggling to understand what had happened. The people I worked for lacked integrity. They treated me poorly. They were purposefully deceitful and evasive and lacked transparency. Furthermore, one of them made it his mission in life to not only undermine the work I was doing but took every chance he could to speak ill of me. Accuse me. Spread false rumors about me. To top it all off, these folks were Christians! They worked for the denomination I was part of at the time! It was brutal and it drove me to the point of despair. But then I read these words from Spurgeon and I realized that as badly as I was being treated, I deserved far worse. All of the things I was being accused of WERE actually happening in my heart. I was angry. I was frustrated. I was prideful and arrogant. I harbored resentment and bitterness. I refused to forgive and extend grace. When it hit me that I was all these things and more, I almost laughed out loud. It dawned on me that all my pent up emotions and feelings were just a cover for my own insecurity and fear. And once I confessed those insecurities and fears to God, I was set free. Free from the need to justify myself. Free from the need to be right. Free from the need to see justice done. Free from the need to please them and gain their approval. It was a life-changing experience for me. 

Job’s friends are an easy target in this book. Their theological purity brings little comfort to their suffering friend. Furthermore, their beliefs are far too simplistic. We all know the righteous are not always rewarded nor are the wicked always punished. So their attacks on Job are without warrant. Having said that...here’s a mind-bender for you...Job actually believes the same way they do! Listen to what he says, “I put on righteousness, and it clothed me; my justice was like a robe and a turban. I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was a father to the needy, and I searched out the cause of him whom I did not know. I broke the fangs of the unrighteous and made him drop his prey from his teeth.” (Job 29:14-17) The reality is Job believes his cause is 100% just. He believes he’s done nothing to deserve his fate. Because he is a righteous man, he cannot imagine why God would allow these things to happen to him. “God has cast me into the mire, and I have become like dust and ashes. I cry to you for help and you do not answer me; I stand, and you only look at me. You have turned cruel to me; with the might of your hand you persecute me. You lift me up on the wind; you make me ride on it, and you toss me about in the roar of the storm. For I know that you will bring me to death and to the house appointed for all living.” (Job 30:19-23) Essentially Job is making the same argument his friends have made throughout the book. Why does God not reward the righteous and punish the wicked? Job clearly believes He should. Clearly is angry that He doesn’t! Job holds fast to his integrity. He has not committed any sin worthy of his suffering. He even goes as far as recounting all his righteous deeds in chapter 31. Making his closing argument before God. 

As readers, I am sure we find ourselves sympathizing with Job. Taking his side. We’re convinced. The verdict is clear! Job must be in the right! But then...if we’re careful to listen...we hear the soft whisper of Satan’s initial question. “Does Job fear God for no reason?” The honest truth is Job DOES expect something from God. He expects an answer. He expects a justifiable reason for his suffering. Job believes he’s kept his end of the deal so by implication it must be God who has failed. (Important note: Job never actually says this…his faith refuses to let him go there.)

So let me put the question to all of us again...do we fear God for no reason? What are our expectations? Do we believe we deserve a guaranteed pass to heaven? Health? Wealth? Blessings in this life and the next? Or is God enough? Do we love God simply because He’s God? If there were no eternal rewards. If there were no promises. If God never gave us a single thing, would He be worthy of our love and devotion? 

Readings for tomorrow: Job 33-36

The Danger of “Worm” Theology

Readings for today: Job 25-28

Father, help me to see myself as You see me. Created in the image of God. Set a little lower than the angels. Crowned with glory and honor. Fallen? Yes. Sinful? Undoubtedly so. Broken? Without a doubt. Loved? Beyond all measure. 

I found myself getting tears in my eyes today as I read these words from Bildad. “How can man be in the right before God? How can he who is born of woman be pure? Behold, even the moon is not bright, and the stars are not pure in his eyes; how much less man, who is a maggot, and the son of man, who is a worm!” Tragically, I’ve known far too many Christians who’ve believed such lies. I’ve heard far too many preachers who’ve proclaimed such lies. I am quite sure I myself fell into these lies when I was young and foolish. Before I became acquainted with grief and suffering. The Bible is clear. Human beings are made in the image of God. (Gen. 1:27) Human beings are crowned with glory and honor and made a little lower than the angels. (Psalm 8:5) Human beings are loved beyond all measure. (John 3:16) As such, we must reject any theology that declares us to be something we are not. We are not maggots. We are not worms. We are not despised or rejected or scorned or shamed. We are beloved.

Now I know why the Bildads of the world believe such things. The Bible is just as clear that we are conceived in iniquity and born into sin. (Psalm 51) All of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) None of us is righteous and even our good deeds, done with the best of intentions, are not pure. (Isaiah 64:6) Yes, the gulf that exists between us and God is vast and immeasurable. He is the very definition of holiness and purity and by comparison, one might indeed conclude that we are like maggots or worms. But this is not a helpful comparison! In fact, it’s not even a biblical comparison! Over and over again, the Bible declares the utter uniqueness of God. “Who is like you, O Lord, among the gods? Who is like you, majestic in holiness, awesome in glorious deeds, doing wonders?” (Ex. 15:11) God is wholly other. He stands alone without equal or peer. He is always separate and distinct from all He has made. He exists on a level we cannot fathom or understand. Nor are we intended to. Our role is to worship. Our role is to obey. Our role is to serve. We are not to seek to be like God. That was the original temptation in the Garden! Instead we are to seek to bring God glory. To honor God with our lives. To bear His image with humble and glad and obedient hearts. 

C.S. Lewis once said that humility is not thinking more highly of yourself than you ought or less of yourself than you ought but simply thinking of your “self” less. We see this dynamic throughout the Bible. There are times when God’s people think more highly of themselves than they ought. Adam and Eve in the Garden. Many of the kings of Israel and Judah. The false prophets who claim to speak for the Lord. It never ends well. God’s judgment puts them in their place. Then there are times when God’s people think less of themselves than they ought. I think of the despair of the people in Egypt. Those moments when God’s people felt forgotten in exile. Jeremiah’s laments. This too is not good. In these moments we see God encourage, confront, and exhort His people to remember who they are and, more importantly, whose they are! You see, the key to humility is taking our eyes off ourselves and keeping them fixed on Jesus. He is the author and perfecter of our faith! He will bring to completion the good work He has begun in everyone who believes in Him! 

Readings for tomorrow: Job 29-32

Doubling Down

Readings for today: Job 22-24

Father, above all, I long to place my trust in You. Far too often I place my trust in myself. My ability. My wisdom. My resources. My desires. They almost always fail me. Help me to learn to look beyond the temporary pleasures of this world to that which is eternal. 

I remember vividly the last time I gambled at a casino. It was in the late nineties before I became a pastor. I was on a business trip to Las Vegas and a friend of mine and I decided to play craps. We had a good night. When it came time for me to roll, I hit a hot streak. Rolled for almost an hour without hitting a seven. It was crazy. People were cheering. Money was being made hand over fist. Frankly, I’ve never experienced anything quite like it. In the middle of all the chaos, a homeless man shuffled in. The lines in his face told the story of a hard life on the streets. He hadn’t showered in days. His teeth were almost gone. His eyes were blurry and unfocused. He held a crumpled up $20 bill he’d found in the gutter somewhere. He threw it down on the table. I promptly rolled a seven. The board cleared. The run was over. Everyone turned on this man. They cursed him. They jeered him. He just turned and shuffled away, never saying a word.  

I sometimes think about that man when I pray. I wonder where he is? Where life took him? If he ever got any help or if he just continued to barely survive on the streets? Doubling down each chance he got when someone gave him some money? I think about my own life. In so many ways, I am just like him. Doubling down on the sin in my own heart rather than humbly submitting to God. As I read Eliphaz’s words this morning, I can feel his frustration boiling over. The general theological principle he’s held to his entire life - the righteous prosper, the unrighteous are punished - has failed him. But rather than humbly recognizing the failure and taking a step back, he doubles down. He attacks his dear friend Job. He accuses him of crimes against God. “Is not your evil abundant? There is no end to your iniquities.” (Job 22:5) You have robbed your brothers. You have stripped the naked. You have withheld water from the thirsty. You have not fed the hungry. You have treated widows and orphans with disdain. Over and over again, he verbally assaults his friend. Some have asked why Satan is not more visible in this story? Do we not hear him in the accusations Job’s friends lob over and over again?

How does Job respond? He doubles down on God. “Oh, that I knew where I might find him, that I might come even to his seat! I would lay my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would know what he would answer me and understand what he would say to me. Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; he would pay attention to me. There an upright man could argue with him, and I would be acquitted forever by my judge.” (Job 23:3-7) Job is confident in God’s justice and righteousness. Confident God will hear his prayers. Confident God would pay attention to him, unlike his friends who seem so bent on contending with him. 

The problem, of course, is Job can’t seem to find God in the midst of his suffering and pain. Though he’s assailed the heavens, they seem shut up. Though he’s cried out, all he’s received so far is deafening silence. Job has done his best but to no avail. “Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him.” However, he does not despair. Why? Because he trusts God. “He (God) knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.” (Job 23:10) Though Job can’t seem to find the way to God, God knows the way to him. And at the end of all the trials and all the trauma, Job is confident God will make things right. Job is confident he will emerge better than before. Refined. Purified. Sanctified as God separates the gold from the dross in his life. 

Admittedly, I am partial to these verses. When things have been at their darkest in my own life. When I’ve struggled with uncertainty and doubt and fear. When the trials I’ve faced have taken me to the end of myself. The end of my resources. The end of my plans. Job 23:10 has been my comfort and my hope. I know what it’s like to double down on sin. I know what it’s like to double down on self-destruction. I know what it’s like to double down in my pride and arrogance. And in those moments, God has broken me utterly and completely. Humbled me in so many ways. He has laid me low to teach me about His sufficiency and grace. He has used the trials of my life to refine me. Purify me. Sanctify me. And His work is not done. Not until I reach glory.

Readings for tomorrow: None

Hearing Job

Readings for today: Job 18-21

Father, my only hope in life and death is that I belong body and soul to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ. He reigns sovereign over my life. He is good and righteous and faithful and true. He will never leave me or forsake me. This is my hope. Help me to hold fast to what I believe even when everything around me seems to be falling apart. 

In the midst of his terrible suffering, Job holds fast to three fundamental convictions...

God is sovereign. 

God is good and just. 

God is faithful. 

These convictions give him the strength to resist his friends when they offer their simplistic, superficial, and ultimately heretical explanations. They also give him the courage to stand before the judgment seat of God, trusting the Lord for vindication. We see this reflected in what are perhaps the most famous verses in the Book of Job, “For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!” (Job 19:25-27) Job, of course, has no idea who Jesus is. The life, death, and resurrection of the Son of God will not be revealed for many centuries. But Job does have faith. He looks forward, as do all the Old Testament saints, to a future yet to be revealed, trusting in a God who will make all things right and all things new. 

Job’s suffering resists all logic. It resists any and all attempts to make sense out of it. It resists the formulaic notions we have about cause and effect. Blessing and curse. Health and wealth. It forces us to grapple with the hard truth that the righteous do suffer. The unrighteous do prosper. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to evil people. There is no rhyme or reason to these things. Time and chance happen to us all as the writer of Ecclesiastes once wrote. The world we live in is broken. Utterly. Completely. It is a world enslaved to the power of Sin. A world ruled by the tyrannical fear of Death. If things happen to go well for us in this world, it is not because we are good or because we earned it. It is far more likely that it is random chance. This is why we cannot set our hearts on the things of this earth but on things above.  

A friend of mine recently watched a show where the Book of Job was featured. The conclusion of the character who was wrestling with the text was that ultimately all Job received in the end was new children and a case of PTSD. That’s actually a common interpretation of the text both in our culture today and in many churches. Like Job’s friends, it’s a far too simplistic approach to the text. It betrays our unwillingness to really sit and take the time to “hear” Job. To marvel at his courageous faith. To wonder at his steadfast, some may call it stubborn, refusal to let go of the goodness and justice and sovereignty of God. Why doesn’t Job ever throw in the towel? Why doesn’t Job do what his wife suggested at the beginning? Why doesn’t Job curse God and die like so many have throughout the centuries and like so many do today? Because Job believes. Job has faith. He knows his Redeemer lives! He knows he will meet God face to face after he dies! He trusts God to be faithful! Trusts God to be sure! Trusts God to be true! Trusts God to be good! And though it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God, Job ultimately trusts God for his vindication. 

Readings for tomorrow: Job 22-24

The Problem of Pain

Readings for today: Job 14-17

Father, help me attend to the pain of the world. The pain of those I love. The pain of those I live among. Help me to find the courage to walk back into pain even when everything in me wants to run or avoid or close my eyes or shut my ears. For there is where I will find You. 

“Pain won’t kill you.” Miss Sarah shared those words with me when I first visited her. She was 95 and living at home by herself. I was all of 29 years old and a freshly minted pastor just out of seminary. As I listened to her story, my heart just broke. She had been battling a host of diseases for decades. She had fought off various cancers. She could barely walk due to her COPD. She had a degenerative back condition that left her in excruciating pain. She was also one of the meanest, nastiest people you will ever meet. She treated the home health nurses that cared for her terribly. Constantly cussing them out and calling them names. She did the same to her family to the point where they hated coming around. I visited her about once a month to serve her communion since she was one of our homebound members. There were many times I left without serving her the elements because she refused to confess her sins before the Lord and I refused to make a mockery of the sacrament. During those times, she would cuss me out as I headed out the door. But she always welcomed me back the next month and along the way there would be these breakthroughs. Moments of grace where a window would open into her soul. She would weep. She would confess. She would repent. Those were sacred moments where God’s Spirit rushed in. 

The pain Job feels is relentless. It is ruthless. It is excruciating. With no end in sight. He longs for death. Longs for the release of the grave. (I cannot tell you how many times I prayed with Miss Sarah for the Lord to take her as she slept. This was her most heartfelt prayer request.) The way Job describes his experience is almost painful in itself… 

“But the mountain falls and crumbles away, and the rock is removed from its place; the waters wear away the stones; the torrents wash away the soil of the earth; so you destroy the hope of man...He feels only the pain of his own body, and he mourns only for himself." (Job 14:18-19, 22) 

“Surely now God has worn me out; he has made desolate all my company. And he has shriveled me up, which is a witness against me, and my leanness has risen up against me; it testifies to my face. He has torn me in his wrath and hated me; he has gnashed his teeth at me; my adversary sharpens his eyes against me...I was at ease, and he broke me apart; he seized me by the neck and dashed me to pieces; he set me up as his target; his archers surround me. He slashes open my kidneys and does not spare; he pours out my gall on the ground. He breaks me with breach upon breach; he runs upon me like a warrior.” (Job 16:7-9, 12-14) 

“My spirit is broken; my days are extinct; the graveyard is ready for me.” (Job 17:1)

Job’s pain is an endless cataract, cascading down on his body, mind, and soul. There is never an end to it. It is so terrible and horrifying, I’m sure it made Eliphaz want to squeeze his eyes shut and close his ears. He simply cannot handle what he’s seeing and hearing. So he opens his mouth again and this time one can hear his frustration. “But you are doing away with the fear of God and hindering meditation before God...Your own mouth condemns you, and not I; your own lips testify against you...Why does your heart carry you away, and why do your eyes flash, that you turn your spirit against God and bring such words out of your mouth?” (Job 15:4, 6, 12-13) I cannot tell you the number of times I got frustrated listening to Miss Sarah. Over and over again, I felt compelled to rebuke her. Correct her. Challenge her. Her racist rants were offensive. The way she spoke of her kids disrespectful. Even the way she talked about God made me angry. I cannot tell you the number of times I threw up my hands and walked away. And yet, God’s Spirit kept bringing me back. Forcing me to walk into her living room where she lay in her hospital bed and engage her once again.

C.S. Lewis once said, “Pain insists on being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” The reality is God was trying to “rouse” Miss Sarah. In the midst of her suffering, He reached out for her over and over again. His love never wavered. His faithfulness never failed. His grace never reached its limit. As dark as things have gotten for Job - and they will get darker still before the dawn - God is present. Always there. Hovering in the background for now but by the end of the book, manifesting Himself in all His glory. And for centuries, He has used Job’s pain as a megaphone to rouse our deaf and dying world.

Readings for tomorrow: Job 18-21

Facing the Darkness

Readings for today: Job 10-13

Father, in the darkest moments of my life, I have found You faithful. You met me in my depression. You met me in my despair. Help me to remember You are always with me despite what I may be feeling or experiencing in a given moment or season of life. 

Fear. Anger. Depression. These are familiar feelings. The fall of 2009 was a dark period in my life. My ministry lay in ruins all around me and I was utterly broken. I had resigned. As far as I knew, my career was over. I had a little severance but no idea what was next. How would I provide for my family? How would I feed my four children? My wife worked but it wasn’t near enough to cover the bills. I was desperate. Alone. Afraid. For several months, I averaged about three to four hours of sleep a night. The rest of the time I would pace up and down in my living room, crying out to God. Fighting with God. Yelling at God. Weeping before God. The experience was deeply humbling. It took me to the end of myself and beyond. I was stripped. Laid bare before the Lord. Much of what I held dear was taken from me. My life shaken to its foundations.

“Why did you bring me out from the womb? Would that I had died before any eye had seen me and were as though I had not been, carried from the womb to the grave. Are not my days few? Then cease, and leave me alone, that I may find a little cheer before I go—and I shall not return— to the land of darkness and deep shadow, the land of gloom like thick darkness, like deep shadow without any order, where light is as thick darkness." (Job 10:18-22) I resonate with these words from Job. In the darkest time of my life, Job was my counselor. I spent hours with him, pouring over his words. Job gave me permission to acknowledge the darkness. Job gave me courage to face the darkness. Job helped me understand that it is in the deepest darkness of our lives, our lowest point, that we finally come face to face with God. It’s a terrifying experience. To come before the Lord naked. With empty hands. With nothing of our own to cling to. To walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

Shall we accept good from God and not evil? Those were Job’s words to his wife when he was stricken with disease. For me, it was the words of the prophet Isaiah, “Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.” (Is. 53:10) Yes, I know these words refer primarily to Jesus but the Spirit impressed them on my heart as well. What if it’s God’s will to crush me? To put me to grief? Is my theology big enough to include the temporal suffering of the righteous? Clearly, for Zophar and the rest of Job’s friends, it is not. 

“If you prepare your heart, you will stretch out your hands toward him. If iniquity is in your hand, put it far away, and let not injustice dwell in your tents. Surely then you will lift up your face without blemish; you will be secure and will not fear.” (Job 11:13-15) Zophar takes the knife from Bildad and twists it deeper. Job continues to defend himself against his well-meaning but misguided friends. He rejects their superficial understanding of God. He continues to press his case against the Almighty. Job is processing his faith out loud as it were. He has reached the point of despair and the open question that looms over this entire book is this - will God answer? Will God respond? Will God meet us in our despair? 

Job seems to believe so. “Though He slay me, I will hope in Him...” (Job 13:15) Does our faith transcend even death? Does our hope and trust in the Lord extend beyond the boundaries of this life? In our darkest moments, do we believe “even the darkness is not dark to You? The night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You.” (Psalm 139:12) This is what I discovered. When things were at their most desperate. When life was at its most uncertain. When everything I held dear was slipping through my grasp, this one truth remained. God. And when that realization came flooding in, everything changed. Not my circumstances. Not my fortunes. Not my future. Those things were still very real and very scary and it took a long time to fully recover. No, what changed for me was the orientation of my heart. The orientation of my soul. My faith moved from my head to my heart to an even deeper place. I received from God a foundation not made with human hands that continues to sustain me to this day. 

Suffering is never without purpose. Not with God. In fact, it’s often where He does His best work.  

Readings for tomorrow: Job 14-17

Compassion

Readings for today: Job 6-9

Father, so often I get anxious in the face of suffering. I want to rush to solve the problem, relieve the pain, find some reason or rationale to explain it. Help me to manage my own anxiety so that I might truly sit with those who are hurting in the ashes of their lives and love them in the midst of it all. 

“Let the day perish on which I was born, and the night that said, 'A man is conceived...Why did I not die at birth, come out from the womb and expire?...Why is light given to him who is in misery, and life to the bitter in soul?” These are just a few of the gut wrenching questions Job asks. After experiencing so much misery. So much tragedy. So much pain. He finally reaches the point of utter despair. His friends are at a loss. They don’t know how to help. They are afraid for their friend. And as they sit with their friend in the ashes of his life, an anxiousness begins to grow within them. Every word Job speaks only increases their anxiety. Their feelings of helplessness. Their feelings of hopelessness. Finally, they can’t take it anymore and they begin to respond. 

How do I know this is what Job’s friends are experiencing? Because it’s what I experience every time I walk into a similar situation with people I love. I have been in the emergency rooms with parents as they said goodbye to their children. I have been in the neonatal units watching infants struggle for every breath. I have sat at the bedside of those dying from cancer and tried to bring comfort to their loved ones. I have been in the developing world and seen life-threatening poverty. I have prayed over men and women whose condition is utterly hopeless because they simply do not have access to the resources they need to survive. In EVERY single case, I feel helpless. Inadequate. Afraid. Frustrated. These anxious feelings threaten to overwhelm me and, if I am not careful, can cause me to say things more for my own benefit than for the good of others. This is what we see playing out in Job’s conversations with his friends. They are experiencing all kinds of emotions as they sit with Job and eventually reach a breaking point where they feel they have to respond.

Eliphaz is the first to speak. “Is not your fear of God your confidence, and the integrity of your ways your hope? Remember: who that was innocent ever perished? Or where were the upright cut off?” (4:6-7) Now this is a theologically true statement. The fear of God is our confidence. Walking in integrity with God is our hope. God promises to protect the innocent and the upright. These things are all true. At the same time, speaking these words to a man who has lost all he holds dear and who, even now, suffers from sores and wounds that are infected with worms is insensitive and superficial. What Job needs is not an answer to why he is suffering but friends who will simply sit and listen and let him process his pain for however long it takes. Yes, it is true that “man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.“ (5:7) But for Eliphaz to suggest to Job that if they could exchange places, he would “would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause, who does great things and unsearchable, marvelous things without number” (5:8-9) is patently absurd. Eliphaz simply has no idea how he would respond were he in Job’s condition and that’s why his words fall on deaf ears. 

Job responds with a stinging rebuke. "He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. My brothers are treacherous as a torrent-bed, as torrential streams that pass away...They are ashamed because they were confident; they come there and are disappointed. For you have now become nothing; you see my calamity and are afraid.” (6:14-15, 20-21) He clearly sees their fear. He clearly sees their discomfort. He clearly sees their anxiety as they sit helpless before him. He knows they are struggling with how to respond. But he also knows Eliphaz’s answer is to far too simplistic. Suffering and sin do not exist in a one to one relationship. This situation has nothing to do with cause and effect. Eliphaz’s theology is far too superficial to explain why some people suffer in extraordinary ways when they have not extraordinarily sinned. Nor is it adequate to explain why some people prosper in extraordinary ways when they clearly are extraordinary sinners! 

Once again, Job cries out to God. “What is man, that you make so much of him, and that you set your heart on him, visit him every morning and test him every moment? How long will you not look away from me, nor leave me alone till I swallow my spit? If I sin, what do I do to you, you watcher of mankind? Why have you made me your mark? Why have I become a burden to you? Why do you not pardon my transgression and take away my iniquity? For now I shall lie in the earth; you will seek me, but I shall not be." (7:17-21) This is raw. This is real. This is the kind of honest emotion God invites from His children. We can talk to God about anything. Nothing’s off limits. Nothing scares God. He’s a big boy. He can handle even the deepest of our emotions. And Job’s words here in this passage invite us to share our deepest, most intimate thoughts and feelings with God. 

But such raw emotion is too much for Bildad. He feels he has to rush to God’s defense. (As if God ever needs us to defend Him!) “Does God pervert justice? Or does the Almighty pervert the right? If your children have sinned against him, he has delivered them into the hand of their transgression. If you will seek God and plead with the Almighty for mercy, if you are pure and upright, surely then he will rouse himself for you and restore your rightful habitation.” (8:3-6) Brutal. Harsh. Unloving. Uncaring. Your children died because they sinned? Chalk that one up to “things never to say to people who are in pain!” But Bildad goes even further, insisting Job has clearly sinned and therefore deserves what he has received. If only Job will seek God (as if Job hasn’t!!!), then he will be healed and restored. 

Job clings to his faith. He continues to acknowledge the sovereignty of God. “Truly I know that it is so: But how can a man be in the right before God? If one wished to contend with him, one could not answer him once in a thousand times...How then can I answer him, choosing my words with him? Though I am in the right, I cannot answer him; I must appeal for mercy to my accuser...If it is a contest of strength, behold, he is mighty! If it is a matter of justice, who can summon him? Though I am in the right, my own mouth would condemn me; though I am blameless, he would prove me perverse...For he is not a man, as I am, that I might answer him, that we should come to trial together. There is no arbiter between us, who might lay his hand on us both.” (9:2-3, 14-15, 19-20, 32-33). Though Job is not “guilty as charged”, he understands his position before God. This really isn’t about guilt or innocence because again, suffering and sin do not exist in a one to one relationship. This is about Job’s pain not his purity. This is about Job’s suffering not his sanctity. This is about Job’s heartbreak not his holiness. He is hurting and out of his hurt, he cries out to God. 

Where are you hurting today? What heartbreaks have you experienced in your life? Where have you found yourself crying out to God? Or perhaps struggling to cry out to God out of fear of judgment? Know He is there for you. He is waiting for you. He is sitting with you now even in your pain. Where have you been like Job’s friends? Struggling to find the right words to say when all you want to do is escape the situation? Have you ever said things more to ease your own conscience than to help the one in need? Repent. Confess. Ask for forgiveness and then ask God for the courage to have compassion. To sit with those in pain. To stand with those who suffer. To mourn with those who mourn. 

Readings for tomorrow: Job 10-13

Suffering

Readings for today: Job 1-5

Father, the devil prowls about like a lion looking for someone to destroy. The accuser of my soul is always alive and well seeking to devour all that is good in my life. Teach me to resist the devil that he may flee. Help me to place my confidence in the One who is stronger. The One who is Savior. The One who holds me in the palm of His nail-scarred hands. 

“Does Job fear God for no reason?” It’s a haunting question. Job not only feared God, he reverenced Him and held Him in awe. Job respected God and honored God. Job loved God and devoted His life to Him. To fear God in the Old Testament means giving God His due. Treating God as He rightfully deserves. Humbly acknowledging the infinite gap that exists between us. Job did all these things and more but the Accuser (this is what “satan” literally means in the original Hebrew) comes before God to test that loyalty. Some wonder if this book is literal or allegory. Did a man named Job actually exist or is this a book written to help God’s people process the problem of evil and suffering in the world? It is the oldest book in the Bible. The first one to be written. And that makes sense to me for it deals with one of the foundational – if not the most foundational question of our existence – why do we love God? Why do we honor God? Why do we fear God? 

Satan argues Job fears God because of the blessings he’s been given. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” Satan believes if everything Job has is stripped away he will curse God and renounce his faith. It doesn’t work. In response to the loss of all his possessions and the tragic death of all his children, Job responds, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Satan’s next tactic is to attack Job’s physical health and mental well-being. “Skin for skin! All that a man has he will give for his life. But stretch out your hand and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.” Again, his plan fails. His accusations don’t stick. Job contracts a terrible disease. He is a physical horror. Terrifying to look at. He sits in the ashes, scraping his sores with the broken pottery of his former life. Still he holds fast to faith, “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips. 

The rest of the book is a litany of Job’s anguish and anger at God. He yells. He screams. He weeps. He is bitter. He is resentful. He is demanding. He refuses to accept easy answers. Refuses to settle for superficial theology. He plumbs the depths of unimaginable pain and suffering. And the most amazing part of the story comes at the end when he finally comes to the end of himself and finds God waiting for him there. I don’t know if Job was a real person but the question this book raises is one of the most real a believer can possibly face. Do we fear God for no reason? Do we love God for who He is or because of the blessings He has poured out on our lives? Will our love stand the test of suffering? There are no easy answers. One only faces this question when one comes face to face with the end of themselves and there in the darkness, they find God. 

Andrew Brunson is a missionary and pastor. He was imprisoned for his faith in Turkey. For two years or more, he languished as his fate became a subplot in an international standoff between the United States and Turkey. Everything he had was taken from him. Twenty years of faithful work in country was flushed down the drain. He was barely allowed access to his family or the outside world. The charges he faced were untrue. The trials he endured were unjust. He suffered from terrible bouts of depression and despair. After he was released, he spoke at a national meeting I attended. He relayed all he had endured. He made no attempt to glorify his persecution. He spoke humbly and authentically and powerfully about how he reached such a low point, he lost faith. But in that moment when he had nothing left. In that moment when he let everything go. In that moment when all hope was literally lost. All he found himself saying over and over again was “Jesus…Jesus…Jesus.” 

You and I may never suffer like Job or Andrew but we are all familiar with pain. We all know heartache. We all know what it’s like to feel bitter disappointment. We’ve all tasted suffering on some level. We all probably know what it feels like to come to the end of ourselves. The question we will all have to face in those moments – if we haven’t had them already - is this…”Do we fear God for no reason?” When everything is stripped away, is God enough? Is He sufficient? Is He worthy of our love and devotion simply because He is God?

Readings for tomorrow: Job 6-9

When Saints Suffer

Readings for today: Genesis 47-50

Father, Your Word literally reveals Your heart for Your people. It gives me wisdom and understanding into what it means to walk with You and before You. Teach me today how to think like You, speak like You, act like You, and ultimately, love like You.

Jacob is a broken man. When asked by Pharaoh to sum up the “days of his life”, he describes them as “few and evil.” He acknowledges he has not lived up to the standard of his fathers and forefathers. It seems clear he’s talking about more than longevity here. More than wealth. More than power. He has suffered. His losses have been grievous. The consequences for his sins have cost him dearly. He’s estranged from his twin brother. He defrauded his uncle. He’s buried both his wives. He thought he lost two of his sons. His oldest son shamed him deeply by sleeping with a member of his harem. Two of his other sons put his clan at great risk when they massacred a village. The famine he’s just survived has taken it’s toll. Now he stands before Pharaoh. He’s asked to sum up the years of his life. He’s asked to give an account of all that has happened to him. But rather than thank God for all that He has done for him, including restoring Joseph and Benjamin to his embrace, Jacob despairs. It’s terribly sad and heartbreaking. 

Life for the faithful can be hard. Some of the difficulties we face are the result of our own actions or inactions. They are the consequences of our behavior, both the good and the bad. Some of the challenges we face are completely outside our control. Natural disasters. Crippling disease. Violence and war. There is a myth out there that those who truly believe will always experience blessing. They will be wealthy. They will be powerful and influential. Everything they touch will turn to gold. This is patently false. There is another myth out there that those who are faithful to God will never experience depression or deep sadness or despair. Again, this is patently false. The sufferings of this present life often take us to the end of ourselves and beyond. The sufferings of this world are often too much for us to bear. Despite what you may hear, God often gives us more than we could ever handle so that we will learn to rely on Him. I have seen this in my own life. I know many other saints who have experienced this as well. 

Consider the example of Mother Theresa. A literal saint of a woman who dedicated her life to serving Christ among the poorest of the poor in Kolkata. She was revered for her work. She won the Nobel Prize. She was recognized and honored the world over for her sacrifice. But after her death, her private memoirs were published and it was revealed that she had experienced the absence of God for the last half-century of her life. She felt like she was wandering in spiritual darkness. She was deaf to God’s voice. Blind to His presence. She didn’t experience Him in worship or in the Eucharist or as she served Him alongside the broken. And it wasn’t because of her sin. She was experiencing what many Christians have experienced throughout history. It’s called the “dark night of the soul.” A terrifying walk through the valley of the shadow of death where everything is stripped from us, including the sense of God’s abiding presence. Does this mean God has abandoned us? Not at all. Did Mother’s Theresa’s experience mean that God had abandoned her? Not a chance. Just as God never left poor Jacob, He never leaves us. He is with us even when we cannot sense Him or see Him or feel His presence. Be encouraged by the words of the Psalmist, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear for Thou art with me.”

Readings for tomorrow: None

U-Turn

Readings for today: Genesis 44-46

Father, open my eyes of my heart that I might see what You would have me see, learn what You would have me learn, and apply to my life the eternal principles You have revealed through Your Word. 

Repentance is a deeply biblical concept. It literally means making a 180 degree turn in life. It requires a change of heart. It results in different decisions. Different behaviors. Different actions. When I read this passage today, I see repentance in Judah. Here’s the man who first suggested they sell Joseph into slavery. In a very real way, he is responsible for all the hardship and suffering and pain in Joseph’s life. Sure, one might argue Judah at least saved Joseph from being killed by his brothers which was the original plan but slavery might be a fate worse than death. And before we give him any credit, it’s entirely possible he was motivated by financial gain rather than any altruistic feelings for his brother. As time went on, Judah experienced his own pain. Two of his own sons died and I wonder if this changed him? Is it possible he began to empathize with his father and the grief and loss he suffered when they told him Joseph had been killed? Is it possible he began to look back and reflect on what he had done to his brother and regret the actions he took that day? Clearly something has happened to Judah. He is not the same man he once was for when Joseph seeks to detain Benjamin, Judah literally offers up his own life as an exchange. He repents. He makes a 180 degree turn. He does what he should have done all those years ago. 

For years, I struggled with anger. Those closest to me would often bear the brunt of my outbursts. Sure, I could justify my feelings with all sorts of reasons. It’s not like I would fly off the handle for no reason. But the damage I did was significant. Finally, a counselor confronted me. He looked me in the eye and asked, “Doug, has anything good ever come from your anger? Does it get you closer or further away from your goals? Does it actually achieve the ends you’re shooting for? How’s it actually working for you?” I had no answers. Actually I did. I knew this counselor was correct. I justified my anger. I considered it righteous. I felt it necessary to get my point across. To demonstrate my seriousness. I wanted my children primarily to understand how much it hurt when they lied or shirked responsibility or broke the rules we had set for our home. Somewhere down deep, I felt anger was necessary to hold them accountable. I was believing a lie. James 1:20 says, “The anger of man doesn’t bring about the righteousness of God.” What I wanted more than anything else was for my family to be righteous. I wanted my children to be righteous so when the counselor confronted me with those questions, I knew something had to change. I knew I had to change. I needed to repent and ask for forgiveness. Life in our home is much different now. Sure, my kids still press my buttons from time to time. It’s not like my teenagers have suddenly become angels. ;-) At the same time, I am a different person. God has transformed my heart. Anger is no longer my primary response. In fact, it is a very rare occurrence. My relationships with my kids has never been better and I am thankful for the grace they have shown me. I am just a broken man and a broken dad trying my best to follow Jesus. 

What about you? Where is God calling you to repentance in your life? What relationships are broken and in need of restoration? Are you willing to let God do the deep work in your heart and soul to bring you to a different place? To make you a different person? 

Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 47-50

God’s Plan

Readings for today: Genesis 41-43

Father, You work all things for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Help me to hold fast to this truth even when times are tough or I feel unfairly treated or unjustly accused. Help me to remember You are at work and will complete the good work You’ve begun in me. 

Years ago, the Lord spoke three words to me in a time of prayer. It’s one of the few times in my life where I have heard His voice audibly in my mind. I can still remember it as if it were yesterday. These three words were to guide my life from that point forward. They were to become the grid through which I would discern and process every opportunity that came my way. Those words were “obscurity, anonymity, and insignificance.” God was clear with me. I was to labor in obscurity. I was to embrace anonymity. I was to pursue insignificance. The words still sound strange to me even as I write them. The way of life God continues to call me to still feels very foreign and yet I am more convinced than ever it is right for me. Why these words you might ask? Because God knows my heart. He knows I am an achievement addict. He knows I have spent so much of my life chasing worldly success. Even in the church. He knows I love being the center of attention. He knows I love being recognized for the work I’ve done. He knows how much I like earthly rewards. So out of love, He calls me to walk away. To go the opposite direction. To cut against the grain of my natural way of being. In essence, this is what “denying myself” looks like on a daily basis. What does this mean practically for me? It means I will never seek another job nor ask for another raise nor pursue any accolades nor draw attention to myself. It means I will spend my life building up others. Honoring those around me. Using all my resources to make sure those around me find success. 

I resonate with Joseph. As a young man, he was arrogant and proud. He was the favored son. He was charismatic and successful. He had dreams and visions of glory. He believed he would rule over his family and clan. And he believed all of this was God-ordained. This all feels very familiar to me. I love playing the hero. I was told from a young age that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to and to a large degree, that was true. I am an Eagle Scout. An honors student. A college athlete. I won the preaching prize at Princeton Theological Seminary. I’ve experienced great success in ministry. I have a wonderful wife and four wonderful children. But like Joseph, I’ve experienced hardship and suffering as well. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers. Joseph was falsely accused of rape. Joseph languished forgotten in a prison for many years. All of those experiences humbled him. Brought him to his knees before God. And you can see the change in his heart when he is finally called before Pharaoh. Listen again to his words…

“Joseph answered Pharaoh, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer…Now therefore let Pharaoh select a discerning and wise man, and set him over the land of Egypt…” (Genesis 41:16, 33) Joseph is clearly a changed man. He attributes all his success to God. He takes none of the credit for himself. He even relinquishes his need to be recognized or honored for his success in interpreting the dream. He lets go and lets God be in control. Joseph is content to return to prison if that is what the Lord wills for his life. Pharaoh, of course, sees what God has done in his life. Even testifies as such to his servants. “And Pharaoh said to his servants, “Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?” And he raises Joseph up to the highest position possible in the kingdom. What Pharaoh doesn’t realize, of course, is that this is all God’s doing. God is at work here to give elevate Joseph not because Joseph deserves it. Not because Joseph has earned it. But because God has a plan and Joseph has a role to play. “Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has shown you all this, there is none so discerning and wise as you are. You shall be over my house, and all my people shall order themselves as you command. Only as regards the throne will I be greater than you.” And Pharaoh said to Joseph, “See, I have set you over all the land of Egypt.” (Genesis 41:16, 33, 38-41)

God still has a plan, friends. You and I have a role to play. It is not ours to seek out that role. It is not given to us to lay claim to that role. Our job is simply to be faithful. To be humble. To embrace the place where God has us and to trust Him to elevate us in His own time and according to His own will and good pleasure. It’s funny. Ever since I went through my own experience of hardship and suffering in Wisconsin almost fifteen years ago and learned to relinquish and let go of control of my life, the more God has entrusted to me. By the grace of God, I am a pastor. By the grace of God, I am a professor. By the grace of God, I am a missionary. By the grace of God, I am a leader in my denomination. None of these things are my achievements. They are gifts. God has raised me up for this particular season and God may lay me low in the next season. My job is not to get caught up or cling to what I have but simply to surrender and let Him use me as He sees fit.

Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 44-46

Unlikely People

Readings for today: Genesis 38-40

Father, Your Word is living and active. It is sharper than any two-edged sword. It penetrates to the deepest places of my being. May Your Word take root, Father, and bear fruit for Your glory.

God works in the most unlikely of places. God uses the most unlikely of people. Tamar is a great example. She’s an outsider. It’s highly likely she was a Canaanite which means she’s not part of God’s chosen people. She most likely knows little to nothing about God. She is chosen by Judah to marry his firstborn son. Er is a wicked man. We aren’t told why. Perhaps he was abusive. Perhaps he was neglectful. Perhaps he was violent or hateful. Perhaps he despised the God of his fathers. Whatever his crime, it was worthy of death. She is then passed down to Onan. Not an uncommon practice in the Ancient Near East. The goal being the preservation of a bloodline. Onan rebels. His sin is not just sexual in nature. It actually shames the entire family. It disrupts the economic, social, and familial structure of Judah’s family. God judges him harshly and he too dies. Who knows how Tamar must have felt at this point? Did she feel like damaged goods? Did she feel used and abused? Did she feel cursed? Time drags on. Judah is clearly unwilling to take another chance on her. She is in danger of not only remaining widowed but childless which was a fate worse than death back then. So she does the most remarkable thing. She makes a plan. She waits for the opportune time. Her plan is risky but it’s all she’s got. Knowing Judah is lonely, she dresses as a sacred Canaanite prostitute – a common vocation in those days – and waits for him to come by. He hires her. Sleeps with her. She conceives and the rest is history. Really important history. Her son Perez will become the ancestor of kings like David and Solomon and eventually Jesus Himself. 

Recently, I was talking to a high school friend of mine. She and I haven’t seen each other since graduation. Back then I was not a Christian. I was sarcastic, arrogant, and often mean. I was a drunk, a college drop-out, and a fool. My life was going nowhere. When she found out I was a pastor, she was shocked. I’m not surprised. So are most people who knew me before I met Christ. You see, God met me in the most unlikely of places on the campus of the University of Colorado in Boulder. I still remember the exact spot where God ambushed me and changed my life. There was nothing redemptive about my life at the time. Nothing good. Certainly nothing godly. Of all the people God could have chosen, I had to be among the most unlikely of candidates. Certainly among the most unworthy. And yet God specializes in using the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. God used Tamar to confound Judah and perpetuate the eventual line of David. God is using Doug Resler to confound those who believe some are just too far gone to save and bring the message of the gospel to the ends of the earth. It’s amazing. 

What about you? Perhaps you feel a lot like Tamar? You’ve been abused. You’ve been mistreated or marginalized. Perhaps you feel like an outsider or an outcast. Maybe you even feel cursed. Maybe you resonate with my story? You’ve been the abuser. You’ve been proud and arrogant. You’ve enjoyed privilege and power but you’ve squandered it all and now your life is going nowhere fast. God is still at work, friends! In the most unlikely of people. In the most unlikely of places. At a time when you least expect it. That’s when God shows up. Don’t lose faith. Don’t lose hope. Don’t lose heart. 

Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 41-43

The Sin of Revenge

Readings for today: Genesis 34-37

Father, the stories of the Old Testament seem so foreign to me. I struggle as I read about the choices Your people make. Then I think about my own choices and I realize I am no different. Teach me even through all the brokenness how to follow You.

The choices the children of Jacob make are deeply unsettling. Massacring an entire city? Selling their brother into slavery? It’s hard for me to connect to what’s going on or how any of this could be even remotely be connected to God. It’s hard for me to understand why God even puts up with them. Why He continues to reach out to Jacob and remain faithful to His promises? In my humanness, I think there must be a limit. There must be a point at which God will say, “No more!” That’s enough. You’ve gone too far. The fact that God continues to associate and even protect such a broken, dysfunctional family creates all sorts of questions for me. Questions about God’s character and nature. Questions about His purpose and intent. Questions about God’s wisdom. These can be scary questions on some level for me because I was taught never to question God. Furthermore, I was raised in a home where you never questioned authority. So the fact that these questions even pop into my mind can raise all kinds of fears. Thankfully, I learned years ago that God’s not scared of my questions. God’s a big boy and can handle anything I might throw at Him. All one has to do is look throughout the Scriptures and see how God invites His people to bring all of their hopes and fears, doubts and uncertainties, confusion and struggles to Him. The Psalms are filled with all kinds of questions. The Book of Job must not be forgotten with it’s honest, searching, probing questions of God’s justice and righteousness and goodness. This is what I love about the Christian faith. This is what I love about my relationship with God. But still I wrestle through these passages every year. 

One thing I have learned is to appreciate the cultural distance between the Ancient Near East in which Jacob and his family lived and the 21st century, Western culture in which I live. In those days, a family’s honor was everything. It was worth more than all their wealth or influence or power. In fact, it was the source of all those things. When Dinah is raped by Shechem, it’s important to note the language that is used to describe the act. Humiliation. Defilement. It’s not just a violent act done to someone they loved but a shameful act against their entire family. The shame is compounded by Shechem’s request to marry Dinah. And lest one have any sympathy at all for Shechem’s family, their true intentions are revealed when they discuss the economic impact of intermarriage. It’s clear their end goal is to eliminate Jacob and his clan altogether. This creates a blood feud between the two people groups and blood feuds in the Middle East – even to this day – are brutal. Jacob’s sons massacre the males in the city thus eliminating any potential future threat or retaliation. They carry off all the wealth of the city, including the women and children and assimilate them into their own clan. It’s as if Shechem and his family never existed. Jacob knows their actions could potentially create ripple effects that would spread throughout the region. It’s possible clan members have intermarried into other tribes or other people groups and would feel compelled to respond. But Jacob’s sons are unrepentant. The honor of their family and clan must come first.  

So how does such a story relate to me? In 21st century America? Well, if I am honest, the one thing that does resonate in this story is the impulse to retaliate. To seek revenge. To get back at those who hurt me. I don’t like feeling weak. I don’t like feeling shamed. I don’t like feeling wounded. So when these things happen to me, my first response is almost always to think of ways I can get back at the other person. Repay them for all the pain they have caused me. I scheme of ways I could respond. I have all sorts of dreams/fantasies of what I could say or do that would balance the scales. Make things even. Sure, I would never massacre an entire city but I have lost control of my anger at times and lashed out. When attacked personally or professionally, I have found myself responding in kind. Using the gifts I have and the resources I’ve been given and the power I hold to defend my honor and that of my family or those I love. Far too often, I have refused to turn the other cheek. The results are always the same. Violence begets violence. Pain begets more pain. Hurt people simply go on hurting people. What’s the answer? Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Letting go of my need to defend myself and instead laying down my pride and ego for the sake of the relationship. Some see this as weakness. What I’ve found is that it is the ultimate sign of strength. Only the truly strong can relinquish their need for vengeance. Only the truly strong can let go of their need to get back. Only the truly strong don’t need to defend themselves or their honor. Only the truly strong can put the welfare of others – including their enemies – above their own. 

Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 38-40

Self-Righteousness

Readings for today: Genesis 30-33

All of us are righteous in our own eyes. All of us have a great capacity to justify our thoughts, decisions, feelings, and actions. It’s been said that “humanity’s ability to sin is only exceeded by her ability to rationalize away her sin.” I believe that with all my heart because I know my heart. I know how easy it is for me to blame-shift. I know how easy it is for me to shirk responsibility. I know how easy it is for me to justify my anger, frustration, hatred, bitterness, etc.

Many years ago, my life was at a breaking point. My job was not going well. I could feel the walls closing in. Every conversation with those I reported to seemed to end in conflict. I felt helpless. I was discouraged. It took a huge effort just to get out of bed each day. Rather than own my responsibility for the condition I found myself in, I blamed others. I retreated emotionally and relationally from those I loved. I neglected my wife and children. I spent hours distracting myself. All to no avail. This went on for months. My wife grew more and more distant and angry and upset. My children bore the brunt of my frustration. And I justified every bit of it because I was hurt. I was misunderstood. I was being let down. Finally my wife sat me down for the hardest conversation we’ve ever had in our marriage. “I never thought I’d ever say this but I don’t like being married to you. You need to decide between me and your job. You have 24 hours.” Her words broke me. That night I wrestled with God. I yelled at Him. Shook my fists. Blamed Him for everything that had gone wrong. For hours I paced the floor, pouring out all my fears and frustrations at Him. He simply listened and waited. Eventually I exhausted myself and said, “God, I need your help. I’ve made a mess of my life. I’ve got nothing left. And I’m afraid I’m going to lose everything I hold dear.” God replied, “I know. I’m sitting in the middle of the mess with you. I’ve never left your side. I know you are afraid. I know you’ve failed. I know you’ve hurt those you love the most. But I can restore all things if you will simply hand your life over to me.” Thankfully, I did. It’s taken years but God has not only restored my marriage and my family and my career but He has given me so much more. 

I think about my story every time I read the story of Jacob. Jacob was a master manipulator. A schemer to the core. He justified all sorts of sin in his life. He stole from his brother. He lied to his father. He was a poor husband and father. He took advantage of his uncle. He even tried to cut deals with God. All in an effort to avoid responsibility. Avoid accountability. Avoid facing the music. Eventually things caught up to him. He was traveling back to the land of his father when he heard his brother was on the way to meet him. He had four hundred men with him. Jacob assumed a reckoning was coming so he did what he always did. He tried to buy his way out of it. He sent his brother gifts. Attempts at flattery. None of it worked. Finally, Jacob had no choice but send his family over the river. Now he was all alone. The walls were finally closing in. He had nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. God had him right where He wanted him. All night long, Jacob wrestled with God. We do not know what went through Jacob’s mind but if his experience was anything like my own, I am sure God confronted him all of his past sin and it broke him. Literally. Physically. He would walk with a limp for the rest of his life. But he was now free. 

What about you? Where do you find yourself justifying your sin? Justifying your hurt? Justifying your feelings? Justifying your behavior? Where do you find yourself making excuses? Blaming others? Avoiding responsibility? Self-righteousness is the most deadly of sins. Turn to the Lord. Wrestle with Him. Let Him break you so that He might restore all you have lost.  

Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 34-37

Bargaining with God

Readings for today: Genesis 27-29

Father, open my eyes to the wonders of Your Word this morning so that I might hear Your voice and learn the truths You would teach me. 

Jacob is such a contrast to his grandfather. Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness. Jacob disbelieved God and would need to learn some hard lessons as a result. In both cases, God appears to them. In both cases, God makes promises to them. Yes, these promises must have seemed impossible at the time they were made. A promised child to a barren woman. Descendants outnumbering the sand on the seashore. Land for as far as the eyes could see. Prosperity. Abundance. Provision. Protection. The only difference is that Abraham received these promises by faith. He never doubted God would deliver. In fact, the Apostle Paul says, “No unbelief made Abraham waver concerns the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith and gave glory to God, fully convinced God was able to do what he had promised.” (Romans 4:20-21) 

Jacob, on the other hand, seeks to bargain with God. Listen to what he says in Genesis 28:20-22 again, “If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father’s house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God, and this stone, which I have set up for a pillar, shall be God’s house. And of all that you give me I will give a full tenth to you.” It’s almost humorous to read in retrospect. Does Jacob really believe he has a choice? God has just appeared miraculously to him in a dream and told him He would be with him. God told him He would keep him safe wherever he would go. God told him He would bring him back to the land. God told him He would not leave Jacob until He had accomplished all He had promised. Jacob takes what begins as an unconditional covenant of faithfulness from God and tries to turn into a conditional human contract with an “out” clause.

How many times have I done the same? How many times have I tried to bargain with God? How many times have I placed all sorts of conditions on His love and grace? To be honest, I am much more like Jacob than I am like Abraham. At the same time, I’ve been following Jesus for close to thirty years now and I find myself growing in trust. Growing in faith. Growing in my confidence that God can and will do what He has promised. I’ve seen miracles. I’ve seen God come through when I was sure all was lost. I’ve heard testimony after testimony of God’s faithful provision in some of the most desperate of circumstances. It’s one of the reasons I try to journal. I want to make sure to keep a record of where God has fulfilled His promises to me. As I read back over all the answered prayers, my heart is encouraged. My eyes are lifted up. Hope floods my soul and I find myself renewed yet again. Where has God been faithful to you? Where has God met you over the last two years during COVID? How have you experienced His abiding faithfulness and abundant provision in your life? 

 Readings for tomorrow: None

God’s Sovereignty

Readings for today: Genesis 24-26

One of the things I struggled with the most when I first started reading the Bible was reconciling how God could use such sinful, broken people to accomplish His plan. Why does God seem to overlook Abraham’s lying? Why does God turn Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt for a backwards glance and yet seemingly does nothing to Lot’s daughters when they rape their father to get pregnant? How could God allow Hagar and Ishmael to be treated so terribly by Sarah? And what are we to make of the conflict between Esau and Jacob which began before they were even born? These events seem to call God’s character into question. 

And yet, when I take a step back to reflect on my own life, I realize God’s still using sinful, broken people to accomplish His plan! I remember talking to a high school friend several years ago. We hadn’t seen each other since graduation. As we got caught up, she asked me what I did for a living. “I’m a pastor.” The stunned look on her face said it all. She and I were close in high school. She knew I was a drunk. She knew I was vulgar. She knew I was a liar. She knew I was arrogant and mean. Of all the careers she could have imagined me having back then, pastor wouldn’t have even made the list! Sure, you say, that was thirty years ago. A lot’s changed, right? You might be surprised. Yes, when Christ ambushed me at the University of Colorado in Boulder, my life was radically changed. But that doesn’t mean I became any less a sinner. Yes, the Holy Spirit entered my heart that day and began the process of sanctification but I am constantly amazed at how deep my sinful tendencies run. Yes, I have grown in so many ways and have become far more disciplined and self-controlled but my internal thoughts and feelings still reflect much of the corruption of the Fall. Does my failure to live up to my calling in Christ Jesus call God’s character into question?  

I don’t think so. In fact, I think God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He simply is doing in my life what He first did in Abraham’s life. He is sovereignly directing all things to serve the purpose of His will. His plan cannot be delayed. Cannot be detoured. Cannot be denied. God has chosen from the beginning to work His will through the creature made in His own image. God has chosen from the beginning to use sinful, broken creatures to bring about His will on earth as it is in heaven. God has chosen from the beginning to deposit the treasure of the gospel in weak and insecure and unfaithful people. That’s why the Apostle Paul will later call us “jars of clay.” Fragile. Chipped. Cracked pots through which God reveals His glory. It’s the most amazing thing. 

So back to the passage we read for today. When we read the text with the eyes of faith, we can see God at work. We see the guidance of God as He leads the servant of Abraham miraculously to Rebekah. (Reminds me of that great line from Casablanca where Bogart says, “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”) We see the hand of God present as Abraham settles his estate and dies peacefully among his people. His funeral, attended by his two boys, Ishmael and Isaac, must have been a tender scene. We see both Ishmael and Isaac receive the blessing of God as their families grow. We see God heal Rebekah’s barren womb in what will become a pattern throughout the Old Testament. We witness the sovereign choice of God to elect Jacob to carry on the promise even though Esau is the firstborn. We see Esau confirm that decision as he despises his birthright, selling it to Jacob for a bowl of stew. Finally, we see God renew His covenant with Isaac only to have him break faith just like his father had done. Time and time again we are reminded that unless God acts to preserve His promise, we are doomed. The human race is just too dysfunctional. Too prone to evil. To easily seduced by sin. This should challenge us as well as comfort us. So where is God challenging you today to follow His will? How is God comforting you in those areas where you fall short?

Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 27-29