Fear

Readings for today: 1 Samuel 28-31, 1 Chronicles 10

Fear does funny things to people. It closes doors that otherwise remain open. It limits options unnecessarily. It puts blinders on our eyes and gives us tunnel vision so we see the worst case scenarios. A few months ago, I was talking to my daughter about her college choices. I encouraged her to apply to several different colleges so we could have as many options as possible. She received it as a lack of support for the one college she wanted to go to. Her fear caused her to think the worst of me rather than the best. After we talked it out, she understood and more doors have opened for her. A friend of mine is trying to kick an addiction. The biggest challenge he faces is how to manage his anxiety and fear. He’s gotten so used to numbing himself on marijuana that he doesn’t know how he’ll be able to cope. We’ve talked about a lot of healthier options like exercise, taking a walk outside, hanging out with friends, etc. but he can’t seem to take the blinders off. It’s making an already difficult situation even more challenging. I think about what’s happening in the stock market over the last week or so. Fear and anxiety and uncertainty are creating all kinds of volatility. People are responding to worst case scenarios rather than remaining calm and looking at all their options.

Saul too experienced fear. Fear is what drove him to seek out the help of a medium. Fear is what drove him to try to call up the dead. Fear is what drove him to abandon God and try to find a way out of the mess he’d made on his own. However, the more he tried, the worse things got. All because of fear. Fear is what drove the Philistine leaders to kick David out of their army. Their fear of what he might do, given the right opportunity, cost them a valuable ally. Fear is what drove Saul to take his own life. He was afraid of what might happen to him should he be captured. He was afraid of the torture and the shame. But when his armor-bearer refused to take his life, he fell on his own sword. Fear is what caused Israel to run from battle. After the death of Saul and his sons, Israel lost the will to fight and fled to the countryside.

What is the antidote to fear? It’s not courage. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage doesn’t prevent you from being afraid. Courage is working through the fear to do what needs to be done. Courage is moving forward despite the fear. Courage is facing your fears and not letting them limit you in any way. Courage is important but it’s not the antidote to fear. Faith is the only thing that can protect us from fear. Faith in God. Faith in those we love. Faith gives us the ability to believe God is more than able to do all we ask for or imagine. Faith is the confidence that God will deliver on His promises. Faith is assurance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. When we walk by faith, we don’t need to walk by sight. When we live by faith, we won’t place our trust in the temporary things of this world. Faith gives us the eyes to see beyond the horizon of this world to the world to come. It opens our eyes to all the options that lie before us, including the ones that only God can see right now. As powerful as motivator as fear can be, faith is even more powerful.

Readings for tomorrow: Psalms 121, 123-125, 128-130

The Power of Guilt

Readings for today: Genesis 41-43

Guilty conscience. We’ve all experienced it. In my work as a pastor, I have had hundreds, if not thousands, of conversations with people to help them process their guilt. Some are crippled by it. Some try to dismiss it. Others fall somewhere in between. Our experience of guilt often depends on our personality. Some are simply more conscientious than others. They tend to dwell on their mistakes. They struggle to forgive themselves or let go of the ways they’ve failed. Others find it easier to move on. They are not as self-aware. They often don’t realize or take seriously the impact they have on others. Still others have a relatively healthy relationship with guilt. They feel it when they blow it but they are more than willing to ask for forgiveness. They are attuned to how their words or actions impact others and try to be sensitive to those around them. Then there are those few who don’t experience guilt at all. This is actually a sign of a sociopathic or psychotic personality disorder. Guilt is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a good thing. It’s a reminder to us that our words and actions matter. The impact of what we say and do follows us. When we fail to resolve hurt or pain or self-destructive choices, we will find ourselves haunted by guilt. This is God’s way of reminding us and pushing us towards forgiveness and reconciliation.

Joseph’s brothers were haunted by their guilt. I have always found it fascinating that their first response to being falsely accused is to trace it back to how they treated Joseph. Clearly, their actions had been haunting them for years. Perhaps it’s because their father refused to resolve his grief. Perhaps it’s because Reuben wouldn’t let them forget it. Whatever the reason, they clearly suffered from a guilty conscience and it had a ripple effect across their family system. It created all kinds of brokenness and division among them. It fostered an environment of fear and shame. They return home and Jacob blames them for the loss of his sons. Reuben offers his own sons as a sacrifice. Does he seriously think Jacob will kill his own grandsons in his grief? Finally, Jacob threatens them with his own potential death. The whole scene is heartbreaking and a clear example of the impact of our sinful choices.

There is only one way to heal a guilty conscience. Forgiveness. Repentance. Reconciliation. This is the only way to be set free from the mistakes of our past. It’s the only way to move beyond our failures. It’s the only way to find peace with God, with others, and most importantly, ourselves. Spend some time today reflecting on your life. Are there memories that haunt you? Recurring nightmares that cause you anxiety? Relational brokenness you know you need to resolve? Are there choices you’re making right now that you know are sinful? Where do you need to repent and return back to God in your life? God wants you to live a life of freedom. But freedom only comes when we follow His ways.

Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 44-46

What Drives You?

Readings for today: 2 Kings 20-22, Psalms 107

I’ve often wondered what drives the kings of Israel and Judah. What drives some like Hezekiah and Josiah to be faithful to the Lord and what drives others like Manasseh and Amon to be unfaithful? What drives some to tear down the high places and what drives some to rebuild them? What drives some to love and serve Yahweh with all their heart and what drives others to chase after other gods? Frankly, we probably will never know but at the same time, human beings are human beings. We are creatures driven by desire who react in all sorts of ways to the feelings our circumstances engender.

In our reading today, it’s clear the kingdom of Judah is surrounded by enemies. The nations surrounding them are ascending while they are descending. They are slowly but surely encroaching on their borders. Picking off one town after the next. Even invading as we saw with the Assyrians. This creates all kinds of political and social pressure to which the kings must respond. I imagine that’s at least one factor in why some kings responded with faith and others with fear. There was no such thing as separation of church in state in the ancient near east. Kings and emperors, tribes and nations, all believed their gods were intimately involved in their daily lives. When the nation experienced blessing, it must mean their god was pleased and exercising his power on their behalf. When the nation was struggling, it must mean their god was angry and withholding his power from them. Not only that but when nations came into conflict, the battle wasn’t just waged on earth. The gods clashed in the heavens as well. This is why Sennacherib boasted about defeating the gods and not just the nations. Israel, however, was different or at least they were supposed to be. They knew Yahweh was Lord of heaven and earth and had no rival among the gods. The nations around them worshipped empty idols so when those same pagan nations defeated them, it wasn’t because Yahweh was weak or defeated, it was because they had sinned. Typically their sin involved treating Yahweh as if he were just another pagan god. This is what “doing evil in the sight of the Lord” was all about.

You and I are often tempted to treat God the same way. Every time we try to bargain with Him or make some kind of deal with Him. Every time we try to be “good enough” to earn His blessing and favor. Every time we treat Him like a first responder, only to be called upon in case of emergency. We are treating Him like a pagan god. God wants to be involved in every moment of every day. God wants to be part of your day to day life. God wants a relationship with you. He wants you to trust Him. Believe in Him. Submit to Him because He knows what’s best for you. So what drives you? Is it faith or fear? Is it belief or doubt? Is it trust or anxiety? And how do you respond to the ever-changing circumstances of your life? Do you respond like Hezekiah and Josiah or do you respond like Manasseh and Amon? Place your trust in the Lord. The Maker of heaven and earth. The One who holds all authority in heaven and on earth in His hands.

Readings for tomorrow: 2 Kings 23-25, Psalms 108

COVID Fatigue

Readings for today: Jeremiah 12-13, 1 Timothy 4

For months I’ve been praying for dear friends in ministry across the country. I’ve had countless conversations with pastors and ministry leaders from all walks of life. All kinds of churches. Across all sorts of denominations. For years they’ve served their congregations faithfully. They’ve wept with those who weep. They’ve laughed with those who laugh. They’ve mourned with those who mourn. They’ve rejoiced with those who rejoice. They’ve baptized, married, counseled, and buried countless people. They’ve been invited into some of the most sacred and tender spaces in people’s lives. They’ve been trusted with secrets. They’ve born incredible burdens. They’ve done all they can to model Jesus to those they love and serve. But the last 18 months has taken a toll. They’re burned out from the stress. Broken by the pressure. Beaten down by the constant conflict. They feel betrayed by the very people to whom they’ve dedicated their lives. According to most estimates, 30% of them are now considering leaving the ministry. Almost 70% report feeling overwhelmed on a regular basis. 40% struggle with anxiety. Another 40% feel exhausted most of the time. It’s heartbreaking.

I certainly am not immune to these pressures. However, I also recognize I’ve benefited from certain built-in advantages. I live in an affluent, extremely healthy community that has weathered the COVID storm relatively well. I’ve served my church for almost twelve years and can draw on a deep well of trust. I’ve got an unbelievable leadership team of elders and staff who have shared the load. My marriage is strong as are my relationships with my teenage and adult children. Perhaps most of all, the years I’ve spent working with pastors in the developing world has helped me maintain perspective in the midst of everything. My brothers and sisters who serve in places like Ethiopia and Uganda and South Sudan have faced, are facing, and will face far more significant challenges that I ever will in my own ministry.

Perhaps that’s why these words from Jeremiah hit so close to home this morning, “If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you, how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you are so trusting, what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?” (Jeremiah‬ ‭12:5‬) Here God is answering Jeremiah’s complaint. He is tired. He is weary. He has been ignored, dismissed, and betrayed by the very people he feels called to serve. He serves at a difficult time in Israel’s history. The kingdom is about to fall. The line of kings has failed. Injustice, oppression, tyranny, and corruption have brought the nation to her knees. People are suffering terribly. Those he loves are dying all around him. And though he has a Word from the Lord, no one listens. In the midst of his own heartache, Jeremiah cries out to God. How long, O Lord? Why God are you allowing these things to happen? Where are you in the midst of our pain?

God’s answer is direct. If Jeremiah is already tired from racing with men on foot, what’s going to happen when God calls him to even greater sacrifice in the days ahead? If Jeremiah is losing heart while he dwells in relative safety and security, what’s going to happen when God brings destruction on Jerusalem and drives him into the wilderness? Is God being unkind? Does God lack compassion? Is God being mean? Not at all. He is preparing Jeremiah for the journey ahead. Things are only going to get harder. The suffering of God’s people is only going to increase. Pagan nations will invade and burn Jerusalem to the ground. The Temple will be destroyed. The remnant who are left will be dragged into exile. Those who remain will barely survive. And still God’s call remains. Jeremiah is to remain faithful. He is to stand at his post. He is to preach God’s Word. He is to proclaim God’s judgment. He is to minister to those who fight him and attack him and abuse him and oppress him and say all manner of evil about him.

Does any of that sound familiar? You see, I don’t think it’s just pastors and priests who are struggling these days. I can’t tell you the number of first responders I’ve talked to who feel exhausted as well. I can’t tell you the number of doctors and nurses I know who are on the verge of quitting. I can’t tell you the number of teachers and administrators who feel like they are caught in the crosshairs of all that’s going on in our culture today. It’s heartbreaking. And yet God’s call remains for us as well. If we are weary from racing with men on foot, what will happen when the pace picks up and the pressure increases in the days ahead? If we who dwell in relative ease and safety and abundance can’t seem to find any peace, what will happen if supply lines truly crash and the economy fails and our political system implodes and our lives get upended permanently? What will we do then?

God calls His people to be salt and light in the world. He never promised it would be easy. He never promised we’d be understood. He never promised we’d be liked or appreciated. In fact, being salty in a world that’s lost it’s flavor can feel very lonely. Being light in a world that grows ever darker can make us feel very alone. That’s how Jeremiah felt. That’s how many of my friends and colleagues feel. Perhaps that’s how you feel today as well. Take heart! Keep the faith! Lift your eyes above the hills, above the circumstances of this world, and look to God! He is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you. He will give you all the strength and wisdom you need to persevere to the end.

Readings for tomorrow: Jeremiah 14-16, 1 Timothy 5, 6:2